I have been fighting a low level depression for a long time now. Many days are wonderful, but the thoughts in the back of my head - the sad ones, the hopeless ones - are always ready to pop out and ruin things.
I've done two things to combat this. The most important is the application of this verse - 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"
Christ does not want us to concentrate on the tragedies of this fallen world, and since I am a child of the 60's, it's very hard sometimes to NOT give credence to the negative thoughts and feelings I have. The philosophy "if you feel it, it's real", or "just let it all hang out" is what was ingrained into me in school (of all places - a private Catholic school.....who would have thunk it?) and in the society of my growing up years. So all these years since then if I have a thought I don't try to cordon it off or control it - I just let it go, and take the consequences. Well, this year is going to be the year of thought monitoring in my own head. I forget that The Adversary is always trying to help keep us off balance and to take away our joy in Christ in whatever way is most effective for each individual. Keeping that in mind, I'm "taking every thought captive", looking it over and then, if it passes muster, letting it go, or, if it doesn't pass muster - out it goes.
The second thing I've done is to stop talking myself out of doing creative things. Believe it or not, the voice in my head says, "oh why bother - you're the only one who'll appreciate it", or "there are more important things to do" (which I usually end up not doing either....). With friends like my thoughts, who needs enemies??? Anyway - I have now begun to knit a sweater for myself. Even in South Florida, it gets cool outside and some work places keep the A/C at insanely cold temperatures, so we actually do use sweaters here.
I searched online and found free patterns at "Lion Brand Yarns". Below is a picture of the sweater I am making:
The type of yarn recommended is Lion Brand Homespun yarn, which just happened to be on sale at Joanne's Fabrics yesterday.
Here is the beginning of my sweater in the colors I love the most:
The colors that make my eyes drool are indigo blues, some greens and purples. If those colors are all together somewhere in the right hues, my eyes are so happy they can't tear themselves away from whatever object or objects comprise that combination.
Just touching the wool, handling it and working with it are sensory experiences and I'm letting myself enjoy every single aspect of creating. Some of my knitting is a bit rusty, so there are a few stitches that look a little "off" because I forgot what I was doing and began to knit on a row I'd already almost completed in perl. I had to tear out those stitches and redo them - and I don't pick up the stitch with the needle in just the proper way for perfection and no detection of "accidents". That's ok - I'm not a perfectionist. I'm happy with "almost perfect", actually, as long as it isn't really noticeable.
I also treated myself to some beads with which to make necklaces and matching earrings for myself. This is so incredibly easy to do and the colors and textures can be magnificent. Here are 2 sets of necklace/earrings that I made yesterday afternoon:
I have to practice my object photography, since - unless you click on the picture to enlarge it - these are hard to really see well. Since it is such a beautiful and cool day, I thought I'd photograph my things outside.
Such an inexpensive and simple pleasure. I can't wait to wear these. Just knowing that I made them will make wearing them more special. I do have to confess that, just as in the knitting, the clasps on the necklaces aren't professional looking - I need to refresh myself on connecting the clasps to the wire for maximum protection as well as professional appearance.
I used the money my mother gave me for Christmas to buy the wool and the beads above. I purchased other colors of wool as well as beads, so I have a lot of projects I can work on when I am ready.
I'm also thinking of getting the indigo dye out again and finding some old castoff white button shirts of my husband to dye and then wear. My husband also wants me to dye a large piece of muslin for him to use as a photography backdrop.
Speaking of photography, I offer a few shots of the lovely Spot Breasted Oriole that practically lives in our back yard, as well as a cute little bee that flies sort of like a hummingbird.....quickly from one spot to another, where he then hovers and slowly moves into the flower he is pollinating.
Hope your Sunday is either bright and warm inside or outside, depending on where you live.